You might be surprised by how many people in abusive relationships do not think they are victims of domestic violence. Domestic violence is not limited to one spouse being physically abusive toward another or the couple’s children. Domestic violence can also involve verbal abuse. In domestic verbal abuse violence situations, one spouse makes derogatory comments about the other spouse to belittle them, make them lose confidence and self-esteem, and cause them to feel like everything that is going wrong in the marriage is their fault.
Getting out of an abusive relationship can seem challenging and overwhelming. It is understandable you might feel scared, anxious, nervous, and afraid. However, you should not have to live your life in fear and worry about being the victim of domestic violence. The most difficult aspect to leaving is making the decision that enough is enough and you are ready to start a new life without the abuser in it.
Once you have decided you want out of the relationship, you will want to start making plans on how to exist outside the relationship. In very violent physical abuse situations this is not always possible, and you should never put your life or the lives of your children at risk.
Some people have left with just the clothes on their back and their children, simply to escape. This is okay if this fits your situation, although you will want to make sure you have the phone number for a local women’s and children’s shelter or domestic violence shelter stored in your phone should you have to make a hasty exit.
Pre-Exit Strategies
- Contact a divorce lawyer in Las Vegas or your area for legal advice. You may qualify for a restraining order, which would allow you to remain in the marital home while forcing your spouse to leave.
- Find a safe place to go. If you use an unsecured home computer to search for places to live, remember to clear the Internet browsing history.
- Let trusted friends, coworkers, and family members know you are leaving.
- Establish a secret word with trusted people so they know if you need help or if they should call the police.
- Document all forms of domestic violence, and the dates/times of the occurrences, and keep this in a safe location, like at work.
- Set money aside, if possible.
Exit Strategies
- If you cannot get a restraining order to remain in the marital home, then, once you have found a place to live, leave. Do not wait for your spouse to get home from work to announce you are leaving, as this could cause them to become violent and abusive.
- If you are able to remain in the marital home, change the locks.
- Get a new unlisted phone number.
- Inform the children’s school of the separation and provide them a copy of the restraining order, if you obtained one.
- Stop by your bank and withdraw money from joint accounts. You should consult with your divorce lawyer to determine how much money you are entitled to withdraw. Use the money to open a new bank account in your name at a different bank.
- Start separation and divorce proceedings. The sooner you file for divorce, the sooner spousal and child support orders can be put into place.
- Get a job. If you are not currently working, you will want to get a job to have your own source of income.
While your spouse might attempt to contact you or want to see you to discuss the separation, it is in your best interests to not meet with them alone or on your own. Instead, request that all meetings be scheduled and conducted at your lawyer’s office or other public areas, with your lawyer present.
By taking steps to get out of your abusive relationship, you can start to live a new life, free from fear. For further information, help, and assistance in filing a restraining order or initiating divorce proceedings, do not hesitate to contact McFarling, Cohen, Fic & Squires now by calling 702-565-4335.