As family law attorneys specializing in representing people during their divorces, we have seen firsthand many times how hard it can be for people to move on after a divorce. While recovering from the experience of a failed marriage is never easy and takes time, we always advise our clients to try to find ways to make the transition from married life to newly single as easy as possible.
Here are six tips we like to share with our clients on how to make moving on from a divorce easier:
- Accept that You Are Not to Blame – People involved in a divorce often blame themselves for the failure of their marriage, both during and after the proceedings. When looking back on the outcome of their marriage, divorcees often start to obsess over what they did wrong, what they could have done differently, and how they personally are to blame for their divorce. Everyone makes mistakes during a marriage, but, ultimately, it is a partnership between two people, both of whom had a say in whether or not it succeeded. Accepting that you are not the only person to blame for your marriage falling apart is the first step to moving on.
- Take Time to Mourn Your Marriage – While blaming yourself for your divorce is not a healthy way to cope, pretending that you have no more emotional investment in your old marriage is a mistake, as well. Even failed marriages are made up of a combination of good times and bad, and taking the time to remember and mourn the loss of the good times is a necessary step in the process of recovering from a divorce.
- Work through Your Feelings – Divorce creates a host of complicated, messy emotions in people, which can make life for the newly divorced complicated and confusing. As difficult as they are, these emotions eventually fade, and can be quicker to deal with when they are accepted and given the time to process, instead of denied and ignored. Whether working through your post-divorce feelings means seeing a therapist or joining a support group, or taking up a different hobby or activity that gives your new life purpose, it’s important to take the time to let the emotions created by a divorce play out.
- Reconnect with Your Old Self – When people enter a marriage, they end up giving up on things they care about to make time for the other person in their life. The period right after a divorce is the perfect time for someone to revisit the things that they used to enjoy that they didn’t have time for during their marriage. Use the opportunity to rediscover old passions, pick up old projects that were never completed, and enjoy spending time on the things you enjoyed before your marriage.
- Discover New Things – In the same way that the period after a recent divorce is the perfect time to rediscover old passions, it is also the perfect time to try new things. By finding new hobbies, going to new places, and otherwise being adventurous, you can more easily take your mind off of the divorce and find new things to occupy your time and thoughts.
- Accept Your New Life – Whether you are happier or sadder immediately after your divorce than you were before it, it is important that you accept the state of your new life and make plans to move forward based around it. While being alone after spending time in a relationship isn’t easy, it can be useful and help you learn new things about yourself. And, while you might not be ready for a new committed relationship, going on a few dates can help you decide whether you are really ready to have a new partner in your life. Whatever your situation is after your divorce, spend time becoming comfortable with it. Only then will you be able to truly start to move on and change it.
For more information on divorce and how to move on afterward, call McFarling Law Group today at 702-565-4335.